Bit-sized read: 5-things-I-learnt-from-this-book

Lean In, Women, Work, and the The Will To Lead, by Sheryl Sandberg, is a great book from which all of us can learn a lot for our professional and personal lives. As Sir Richard Branson has said in his remarks, this is an essential read for anyone interested in righting the injustice of inequality. In my view, this is applicable for anyone trying to overcome the classic imposter syndrome.

These are the ‘5-things-I-learnt-from-this-book’ – Lean In

1. Opportunities are rarely offered; they’re seized: If you want something, you need to go for it. Opportunities are not well defined, it stems from someone jumping to do something (with a degree of risk).
2. Done is better than perfect: It is best to let go of unattainable standards. Life is quite a mess with too many variables, and we cannot do it all…we cannot have it all.
3. Excel and you will get a mentor: Mentors invest in people who can benefit from them. Don’t go around asking someone to be your mentor. Mentorship evolves with trust and by an engaging, learning relationship (something like Krishna and Arjuna from the epic Mahabaratha, in my view).
4. Pay it forward: Help others and do not expect something in return. We have enjoyed the fruits of trees other people have planted.
5. Success and likeability are correlated based on biases: Read about the Heidi / Howard case study to know more, which is an ‘aha moment’ to understand the context for gender or any form of unconscious biases. We are likely to be biased by what we have inherently typecasted over time.

The book is an extremely interesting read and enriched with detailed research references and personal narratives.

I managed to read up across a series of long cross-country flights and this was time well spent.

Your one-minute read ends here….Scroll-down to read more about the book.

Byte-sized read: Summary-of-this-book

Have time for more detailed read across? Read on to enjoy the chapter-wise summary here…

The book looks at gender disparity and progress in achieving leadership roles and analyzes root causes. The lessons in this are applicable to all, and there is lot to learn in how we engage with our partners in life, and colleagues at work (across genders), and the society at large. A crisp, well-researched narrative, with excellent examples and incidents make the book a very engaging read.

Internalizing the Revolution: The book starts off with an engaging narrative of how it took a senior female colleague in a leadership role to highlight to the organization that pregnant women may need reserved parking / ease of access to enter the office as compared to walking across a sprawling parking lot, and how this may not have been even thought out before by management. The main message here is that you need people who experience similar challenges in positions of authority to speak up for the group at large…positions of power is a necessary element of true equality.

The Leadership Ambition Gap: The chapter delves into reasons behind gender gaps, esp. at leadership levels. It also highlights challenges faced by women in the workforce, such as life events and child care needs occurring at a time careers may require investment and risk taking. It also cites underlying behavioral and societal biases regarding professional ambition. For example, ‘he / she is very ambitious’, is a characteristic expected of men, but is optional (or even viewed as negative) for women. As a concept, the Leadership Ambition Gap is widely applicable and one can relate to it at various points in time.

Sit at the Table: The narration delves insightfully into the imposter syndrome – which a lot of us (myself included) can clearly empathize with. There is an interesting example of how it is important to ‘keep one’s hand up’ as well as how the author felt embarrassed when featured in the World’s 100 Most Powerful Women list in 2011.

Success and Likeability: There is the interesting case study of Heidi / Howard it was demonstrated that, when two people have identical achievements, both men and women tend to like / applaud the successful male than the successful female, i.e., for the same achievement, a man like liked more, appreciated more! The case study is a masterclass on driving home the point that unconscious biases and stereotypes influence how we evaluate people.

It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder: We need to recognize that careers and professional choices can be varied – career is not a single, straight ladder, but it is a jungle gym – you can make various choices, move sideways, diagonally, and acquire new skills to reach the top. The key message is to take high beta paths, challenge, and learn. It set myself thinking as to the debate on the balance between deep expertise and learnability.

Are You My Mentor?: One can find many interesting incidents recounted in this chapter around mentorship. Asking vague questions to senior leaders is not advised, rather, it is preferred to have focused conversations. The message here is mentors select proteges based on performance and potential.

Seek and Speak Your Trust: This chapter places emphasis on authentic communication. The readers are encouraged to ask the question ‘What / How could I have done better?’.

Don’t Leave Before You Leave: The key lesson to women / men is to not put brakes on their careers till one actually leaves. The chapter also delves into the complexities women face in managing their roles as primary providers of childcare and at work. It also calls out the challenges men face when they want to leave the workforce and the social stigma attached to the same.

Make Your Partner a Real Partner: An equal division of labor between parents will set the right example for the next generation. To summarize in one line – when women work and earn and share breadwinning responsibilities, families prosper, and the likelihood for staying together increases. Fun fact – the best way for a man to make a pass at his wife maybe doing household work with a smile…and that includes dishwashing :-).

The Myth of Doing It All: The chapter drives home the message that it is not possible to have it all – one cannot be a superwoman (or superman), i.e., achieve perfection, in work and family. Therefore, ‘done is better than perfect’. It is ok to take a break from career and no one has specifically instructed to work crazy hours.

Let’s Start Talking About It: The chapter narrates an interesting incident where a speaker wanted to ensure equal participation in a Q&A session – for this, the speaker called out male and female members of the audience evenly. This shows how nudge techniques (small interventions) can go a long way in inclusivity. This could hold true not just for the gender divide but any such divide. One needs to speak up about biases.

Working Together Toward Equality: This chapter emphasizes the need for allyship to remove social barriers. It concludes by highlighting that the world will be a better place when homes and institutions are run by men and women equally – more aptly, when half our institutions are run by women and half the homes by men. Freedom to chase aspirations without social biases is key to this.

Credits: Lean In, by Sheryl Sandberg

Closing notes: As a reader of this book, I learnt a lot about prioritization, managing work and life, and importantly in enabling diversity and inclusivity. With examples, stats, and personal incidents from the author’s life, the book makes a very engaging read.

Go ahead…and try it!…Let partnering start at home.